Can I Have Some Morphine Now?
Let’s talk about adjectives medical people use. Descriptions should be standardized! For example, I have heard doctors tell people going in for abdominal surgery that they may experience some discomfort and to take Tylenol as needed. SOME DISCOMFORT? Are you kidding me! If there is any time I could think of to label something painful, I’d think surgery would qualify. On the flip side, I’ve known some medical people to go berserk when viewing a red ear canal exclaiming how painful it must be. Painful ear? Uh, no. I’d call it uncomfortable, aggravating, irritating, some discomfort involved…but not painful. I know, I know – I’m describing things according to my pain threshold. Last year, I went to the doctor with a red ear and when he looked inside, he kept going ooh and aah, then made this whistling noise while sucking air in between his teeth. He asked me how bad it hurt then wondered how I was standing it. I just looked at him with a question on my face, like what are you talking about? Hmm, I wasn’t thinking quickly enough. I should have asked him for some morphine. Once, when I had a little surgery, I asked for morphine and was told Tylenol would be sufficient. (Well, I know that…but, when can I get some morphine?)